The Ultimate Fighter 10 Episode 6

The most recent episode of The Ultimate Fighter may have set a record for the number of utterances of a single word in an hour of television. This word is one that could not be said on the air until Detective Andy Sipowicz started saying it on NYPD Blue. This word: Titties. Coach Rampage Jackson razzed a fighter on the opposing team, Darrill Schoonover, with this term of endearment over-and-over to the point where Darrill called Rampage a “bitch” and challenged him to a fight in Rampage’s 205 pound division. Now, let’s go over the facts on this matter, shall we?

1. His titties aren’t that bad. The guy he fought, Zak Jensen, has just as bad a set of man-boobies along with a pair of matching love handles that look to be around six or seven pounds each.
2. There is no way in hell that Darrill, standing at 6’2” and mostly fat, could get down to 205 of enough muscle to stand a chance against the man who earned the name Rampage, standing at 6’1” of solid muscle and a previous damn champion who beat Chuck Liddell twice.
3. Odds are, Rampage could beat Darrill’s behind black-and-blue right now, even giving up those fifty pounds.
4. Never call another man bitch unless you are prepared to throw down. And never, ever call a Black man bitch.

The argument got pretty heated, and Rampage only stepped up his harassing after this point, giving him hell during the weigh in to the point where Darrill’s coach, Rashad Evans, had to step in and confront Coach Jackson, asking him if he would like being called dick head every day. Then, just before the fight, Rampage wrote “Titties” on Darrill’s dressing room door. To Darrill’s credit, he turned the other cheek, landed an impressive flurry of punches to Zak Jensen’s head, then finished him with a triangle choke in the first round, and did not even talk smack to Rampage after the fight.

What Rampage did, effectively, was light a fire under a fighter on the opposing team, one who was drinking liquor before his fights and training in a lackluster manner that concerned his team. After all that titty-talk, he had a look in his eyes and a determination that completely turned him around. Meanwhile on Rampage’s own team, Zak Jensen, who no doubt already felt bad being the last pick on the first episode, was getting harassed on a daily basis even by members of his own team. Wouldn’t a coach have some sense of that climate and have a talk to his squad about such a thing? Cuts from one dressing room to the next again showed why Jackson is not cut out for coaching. The energy of a solid prefight ritual could be felt where Rashad was pumping up his fighter with insightful comments, and then we see a shot of Rampage, leaning back on the leather couch merely saying something to the effect of, “come on, the man has titties.”

Rampage, none of your fighters have won yet, Rashad is continuing to challenge you to fight the bout with him you have backed out of to shoot the A-Team as an unproven actor. Show us you can still be the fighter and entertainer that we have come to love, or maybe show us that you can save face as a decent coach in the remaining shows. Perhaps most of all, please show us you are capable of more than teasing a fighter with a moderately bright future and an unfortunate chest situation.

By Matthew J. Swanson

Matthew J. Swanson is a playwright, fighting enthusiast, and author of all sorts of other “stuff.” Get a look at his writing with links to other publications to which he contributes at his blog page undated every day (mostly) at www.thegancer.blogspot.com.